Monthly Archives: May 2014

Graduation Day

My son is graduating today. Wow, unbelievable! Images of him growing up are flashing continuously through my mind, from infancy to teen years, playing over and over….it is just an amazing feeling that I really do not deserve, but am ever so grateful to be feeling it. I could sit here and think about all the things I could have done differently, all the things that I wish I had learned so that I could have passed them on to him. All the times that I spent away from him because work was more important, or more to the point, I was more important. My selfish gains I can see now are my selfish losses, just wish I could have seen that sooner.

But hey, it is not too late, right? For God’s sake he is only 17 and I am ONLY 49, we still have a lot of living to do, but I need to make some changes in ME. Time to stop thinking about change and complaining that nothing ever changes and start MAKING changes. So many places that I could start and so many things that need to change, but the one thing that needs to change the most is my thinking, and I have already started on that, now I just need to LET IT HAPPEN

It is amazing how fast kids grow up, always sounded like a cliche but it is so damn true. Like I said, my son’s life is playing in my mind in a continuous loop, and it is a good feeling to see how he has grown and to think about all the good times we did have, instead of wallowing in the self-pity of the things that did not happen, the coulda-shoulda-wouldas that will drive you absolutely crazy in the end. Start looking at the good things in life, no matter how bad it seems, there is ALWAYS something good that can come out of it, and usually we will not see it for a long time, but it is there. Usually it is easier to see when you share your experiences with someone else, and to make a list of everything that you are grateful for. I recently made a list of 3-5 things that I was grateful for each day for 10 days without being able to repeat any of them, it sounds real easy but by day 5 or 6, it got tough. But it made me look hard at all the things I take for granted on a daily basis and it got me out of my pity pot for a little while. Give it a try, couldn’t hurt.

Anyway, enough rambling for the day. Going to go watch MY BOY graduate high school and try not to think about my baby girl who is just STARTING high school, don’t even get me started on that one or I’ll need one of those waterproof keyboards.


See Ya!


And then what…?

What really makes people happy? Unfortunately in my case it was the WRONG thing for far too long. Saw this story on the wall of a sub shop yesterday and it made me think, what do I want? By the time we seem to get what we want, it is too late to enjoy it.


An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.  Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna.  The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos.  I have a full and busy life.” The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part.  When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire.  Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”



verb \sə-ˈren-dər\

: to agree to stop fighting, hiding, resisting, etc., because you know that you will not win or succeed

: to give the control or use of (something) to someone else

: to allow something (such as a habit or desire) to influence or control you


So is surrender a good thing or a bad thing? I guess it all depends on what you are surrendering and who you are surrendering to. “Fight the Good Fight”, that is what “they” always told us, right? Where does that get you? You and your will are still in control and in some people, that is NOT a good thing. I can definitely speak for myself when I say that. Left to my own devices, I will mess up a one car funeral. But I don’t have to live like that, right? I can do something about it, right?

Of course I can, but the bigger question is “Will I”. We all know what we have to do, what we need to do to be happy, or at least content, but we do not want to give up control or “surrender” anything to make it so. So what’s it going to take? Do I need to sink further into despair, let the crap around me win? I keep saying that I still have too much to lose, but I don’t see myself changing. Others tell me that I am, but I don’t see it.

Anyway, went and saw a couple movies the last couple days, “God is NOT dead” and “Non-Stop”. Liked them both but for different reasons. Would recommend “God is NOT dead” to anyone that needs a good spiritual uplifting, not the best acting in the world but I liked the stories and got a lot out of it. “Non-Stop” is a Liam Neeson action movie. Liam Neeson is just a bad-ass, I enjoy his movies and this one kept me wondering who the bad guy was until almost the end. Won’t win any awards but was worth the time watching it. Plus I basically had the entire theater to myself since school is not out yet, which I think was my favorite part.

Just going to keep on keepin’ on, maybe some day someone will read these incoherent thoughts and leave a comment 🙂


See Ya


Help(?) Wanted

What exactly is it that companies are looking for? What exactly is it that I am looking for?

I have worked hard for over 30 years and yet still was able to throw a monkey wrench into things that got me gone (Southern coming out in me I guess) from each job. Loyalty is a two way street, but which side of the street is more important? Do companies really reward loyalty from employees? From ALL employees? Or just the Executives? At what part does loyalty to a company get in the way of loyalty to family, friends, or to yourself? Or vice versa?

I considered myself loyal, but was I? I can justify just about anything in my mind, and it is very easy to find reasons to put blame on anyone else except for yourself. Pay was crappy, company didn’t supply employees with what they needed, employees did not put forth the effort or seem to even care about how the company performed, employees didn’t appreciate what the company DID do for them, special events, parties, outings, etc… so what was the point of planning them?

It is all about the mighty dollar, right? I hope not. Life is so much more than that. It took me losing almost everything to learn that, but I truly believe it. Remember that money is not the root of all evil….THE LOVE OF MONEY is the root of all evil. It was always important for me to have money in my pocket, no matter what. That is the LOVE OF MONEY. It got me absolutely everything….and then it lost everything for me because I couldn’t stop.

So what is next? Back to my original question, what are companies looking for? How do I convince them that I am NOT overqualified for positions that I KNOW I can do well at? To be completely honest, I do not miss working at this point, but money will be tight VERY soon so I got to do something. Any advice out there???

To be continued….


See ya!