Tag Archives: Beauty

Inner Ugliness

Absolute beauty. The beauty within all of us. The ability to see past the sometimes gross exterior to see someone or something’s worth. Perspective, that is what it is all about.

My perspective? I try to look for the good in people, sometimes to a fault. Sometimes to where I would end up getting hurt over it. I believe there is good in all people, unfortunately it can often be buried deep, deep, deep beneath some ugliness. Not necessarily outward ugliness, but under inner ugliness. The inner ugliness that comes from believing everything that one reads. From believing what others say about you or what they say about others. From putting other people upon a pedestal, thereby setting yourself up to be hurt because no one should have to live up to your expectations, that just isn’t fair to them.

There is so much beauty in the world, a sunset over a lake, children playing in the park, leaves turning to their fall colors, the unknowing smile of a baby to a knowing smile of the elderly. Nature itself is an amazing spectacle to be seen. Watching a spider, which most people do not think of as beautiful, build a spider web. It is amazing to watch the art work of this creature regardless of people’s feelings toward it. See a spider, squash it! That is what I usually hear. Trying watching one once when it is busy doing what it does naturally, it is an amazing creature.

Weeds, we all hate them, but left to grow they can create some amazing scenery.

So in answer to the question posed this morning, is all beauty contingent on a subjective point of view? My answer is that I hope so. If I have to believe that something or someone is beautiful because someone else says it is, then that is a world that I do not want to live in. I have seen and felt inner ugliness, and I do not want to ever go back to it. Life has too much to offer, I refuse to sit back and feel sorry for myself because everyone else says that the world is no good. I do not believe that and will not believe it.

Enjoy your day

Mark


Home Improvement

Home improvment logo.jpg

The daily prompt asked us if we could replace the cast of any TV show with my own family, which one would it be?

First thing I did was to send a note to my wife asking her opinion because I really don’t watch that much TV, and the shows I do watch really didn’t strike me as appropriate. Big Bang Theory?…Nah. Falling Skies….would be fun, but not really what we are about. Great show though. Deadliest Catch?….never caught a crab in my life and I am REALLY sure that my wife would not be caught out on a boat in the middle of the ocean in the middle of winter……

So I got up, got my daughter off to school and went to a meeting that I attend every morning. It is a bunch of guys, and sometimes gals, that get together just to get our day off on the right note. We have a topic that we read about and then talk about for an hour or so and then go on about our day. It really is a great, and necessary way for me to start my day.

Still not sure of how to relate a TV show to my family, or my family to a TV show, I looked at the topic for today and it was “Reconstruction”. OK, that topic is very relevant to what me and my family are in the middle of doing. Over the last six months our lives have drastically changed, more than I ever thought that they could or would. I am not going to go into details of what happened, but just suffice it to say that if I was looking at what happened from the outside in, I would think that it would have been the worst 6 months of my life. Well guess what, it has been by far the best 6 months of my life.

I know that my wife is going to read this, and I am not going to tell her story, but we both have found something over the past few months that we did not even know was missing. Actually, He wasn’t missing, we had just kept Him out of our lives together. By the Grace of God, in a few weeks we are going to be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary. 6 months ago I would have probably told you that we probably were not going to make it, but we did and I can say that I am as much in love with her now, as I have ever been. I don’t deserve the forgiveness that she has graciously given me, but I am going to damn sure take it and treasure it and thank God for it everyday. And I hope that she is not upset that I put this on here, but I want the world to know, at least my little part of it.

As for the show, the only one that came to me is the show Home Improvement, because that is exactly what we are doing everyday with the help of our Higher Power which we choose to call God. We don’t have 3 boys and a neighbor that passes wisdom to us over a fence, but we will be OK.

At the end of the reading we did this morning, it said “He grants me a daily reprieve and will provide the power I need for reconstruction”, and it is such a great feeling to know that it is true.

Peace and love to all

Mark

 

 
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Joatmon’s Opus

This is Opus.

I bought a stuffed animal of Opus over 30 years ago and still have him, and do not plan on letting him go.

You see, Me and Opus have been through a lot together. Opus was there in my darkest hours and never left. He’d listen for as long as I needed to talk and still will. Now that is an amazing friend, wouldn’t you say?

Of course, he originally is from the comic strip “Bloom County”, but I found him in one of those thrift shops connected to one of those old time gas stations somewhere in Central Illinois along I-57. Not sure what made me buy him, just saw him on the shelf looking at me and figured that I had to have him.

After I bought him I went back to my car, having just revisited some people at college that I knew from the previous year. See, I had to drop out of college for personal reasons, which at the time I did not understand at all. Was not feeling too good about myself at the time and I guess I needed someone or something, and Opus was there for me.

We went out behind the gas station and watched the sun set over a farmer’s fields, no noises other than birds chirping or squawking or whatever they were doing, just a golden field that stretched out forever it seemed, sun sinking into the horizon leaving such magnificent shades of yellow and orange below a darkening blue sky, I just sat. And sat.

Little did I know that the peaceful feeling that I was feeling at the time was known as Serenity, and just how hard that feeling would be to find again for a long time. I have had glimpses of it over the past 30 years, on my wedding day, the days that my children were born, but it never lasted, through no fault of Opus or anyone else might I add.

I know now that serenity is not “out there”, it is in here (I am pointing at my chest). And it is achievable. I know that now, as long as I keep my way of thinking pointed in the right direction, as long as I am doing the next right indicated thing, as long as I am relying on My Higher Power who I choose to call God, it is achievable.

And I think Opus knew that and was there on the shelf just waiting for me to pick him up.


Progress, not perfection

Progress, not perfection

Learning to live one day at a time, with gratitude not contempt

Progress, not perfection

Realizing that I am not responsible for what others think of me, that all I can do is the best I can do for today

Progress, not perfection

Remaining teachable and learning, practicing humility in all that I try to do

Progress, not perfection

Becoming the person that He wants me to be, not the one that I want to be

Progress, not perfection

Asking for forgiveness and having Faith that I will receive it. Looking at life as a journey. Being willing to help others as I have been helped.

Progress, not perfection

Forgiving others, for they know not how their words and actions can be so hurtful and hateful. Praying that they are given the same that I seek. Finding peace within themselves.

Progress, not perfection

Not taking for granted the amazing world that we live in, in spite of all the hate that the media spews at us constantly. The beauty of a lake at sunset, bumblebees defying physics and buzzing around a field of beautiful flowers, the smile of a child and her eyes showing a blank canvas that is just longing to be filled with wonderful memories

Progress, not perfection