Store bought gift?
Which is better?
For me there is one gift that far exceeds any other. It doesn’t come from a store and it cannot be created or hand made.
Nothing else even comes close to it.
For most of my life I always thought that I had to buy happiness, to buy love. That the most important thing was to always have money in my pocket and feel like a big shot by buying useless things for people that really didn’t care one way or another.
That the only way to be successful was to make as much money as possible and that the only way to succeed is to work, work, and work and then feel superior to others because I worked harder than them. The thing about that is that no matter how much money I made, it never seemed to be enough. And no matter how much I worked, it was never enough. I lost track of everything that should have been important to me. No, let me rephrase that.
I NEVER GAVE MYSELF A CHANCE TO LEARN WHAT SHOULD BE IMPORTANT TO ME.
I am writing this after spending the last 3 weeks working 12-14 hours a day, so does this make me a hypocrite? Maybe. . .
I am hoping that the difference this time is that I have had several months to learn about myself and to learn about the people around me that love me, because I am ME. Not for what I am, but for who I am.
I still need to work and it felt good to go to work every day and to get done what we set out to accomplished. Sure I was tired and sure I missed all the people that I have surrounded myself with at this point in my life, my support group or whatever you want to call it. But I think that might be the difference. In the past, I worked without thinking about anyone but myself. I worked and left others to take care of things like raising our kids. I missed out on so much and it is something that I can never get back.
I am writing this as a reminder to myself. That even though I do have to work, I cannot let it become “my everything” again. I have learned so much and been given so much over the past 8 months, given freely I might add, that I have to remember what got me to this point. It was not my doing. There was definitely Divine Intervention happening in my life, and there still is.
So that gift I was talking about earlier, the best gift ever?
To me, it is the gift of unconditional love that I receive every day from family and friends, and especially from my Higher Power, who I choose to call God.
Without it, I am nothing.
With it, I can be anything
Much Respect and Love