Reading the card attached to the huge crate that just showed up on my door
In regards to all of the whining and bitching you have done about tedious chores throughout your life, you have been awarded this Choremaster 3187T. Easily programmed by voice prompt to be able to take over the most mundane daily tasks that drive you crazy. Once programmed, it will continue to do said chore for its lifetime. Daily recharging is required.
Wow, this is cool I thought as I try to open the crate to get it out and look at it. It took me about 20 minutes to find the damn hammer, but I found it and started to pry the crate open. As I was doing so, I was thinking about what chore I was going to have it do.
I really hate cleaning the litter boxes, maybe it can do that for me. Nah, that seems like a waste of this valuable piece of machinery.
Cleaning? Cooking? I like to cook but don’t like cleaning up afterwards, but that is just laziness, and it would only be used once in a while.
What else? I guess I could have it constantly cleaning the house, but. . . .I don’t know. What if it is loud and is constantly around me, while I am reading or writing, could be a distraction.
Walk the dog? It would probably kill poor Charlie by dragging him around outside in this Mississippi heat, No, I couldn’t do that to Charlie.
I realize that I have stopped trying to get the crate open and was just standing there thinking. Thinking about all the things that have happened recently and the second, third or fourth chances that I have been generously given in life. Thinking about all the things that I want to change about myself, so that I can become a better person and be useful to those around me. One of the character flaws that I need to work on is definitely laziness and I do not see how this machine can help that in any way.
So I stare at the crate and wonder what to do with it. I have already decided that I am not going to be needing it, and am trying to think of what to do. Return to manufacturer? That seems like a waste. Sell it to the highest bidder? It was given to me, making money off of it does not seem right. Throw it in the garage with all the other crap that I need to go through, nope, there is that laziness again. It would end up in the corner or buried under something.
Then it hit me. I pried open the cover as fast as I could and found the instructions. Programming seemed like it would be easy enough. I pulled out the module, all I had to do was to type in the chore on the screen and hit ENTER and supposedly it would be ready. So I typed out the command, but did not hit the enter key, put it back in the crate and nailed it shut.
I went online and got an address, called the delivery company to have them come pick it up, filled out the online waybill but left my name and return address off of it and waited for the truck to come.
A couple days later I was watching the news and saw a report about a local Children’s hospital receiving an anonymous gift.
“It just showed up here with a note saying that all we had to do was hit ENTER on the display. When we opened the crate, the screen already had typed on it Your chore is to give all the kids staying here HOPE“
“One of the nurses immediately hit the enter key and it started moving, lights flashing, music started coming from it, and then the most amazing thing of all started happening. It started talking to the kids, and reading books to them, and showing movies on its screen for them to watch. I have never seen so many smiles around here, it really was a blessing that these kids needed” the spokesman said.
I sat and watched knowing that I had made the right choice. Well, the garage ain’t gonna clean itself!