My Thoughts

I have been reading a lot and hearing many comments about Robin Williams over the past few days. It has put me through a range of emotions from sadness to anger, pity to condemnation, confusion to understanding.

I enjoyed watching Robin Williams perform, always have. Going back to when his character Mork from Ork showed up on Happy Days (remember?). He made me laugh, he made me cry, he made me think. My anger and condemnation is not directed at him, it is at the people making comments based on ignorance of depression and addiction. It is at people that at this time of sadness and grief for his family and true friends, who are making ignorant comments and, in my opinion, are verbally harassing his family. How could people be that cold and unfeeling?

Now everyone wants to know whether he had drugs in his system, it doesn’t matter. It really does not matter. He just couldn’t take it anymore. We put people on such pedestals that when they fall, because after all they are ONLY human, that we all feel like they let us down. Well, maybe we all let him down. Maybe if people stopped  the mentality of “Just get over it” or “Just deal with it” and made an effort to understand that he had a debilitating disease, two of them. Depression and Addiction, and the sole desire of these diseases is to want the person that has them dead. That is the sole objective of the disease.

Yes, I am taking this personally. I fight my own battle, millions of us do, but we have to do it anonymously because it is not “the norm”. But there is a solution if someone wants it bad enough. But these diseases trick us into thinking that we don’t want it bad enough, and I know most of you will never understand that and believe me, I am happy for you. But please do not condemn those that do have to struggle with these feelings.

I just read this paragraph on a blog called Between Fear and Love that, again in my opinion, really touches on how people with suicidal tendencies feel, I hope she will not be upset that I used it

My favorite priest once gave us an analogy. He said to us that someone once told him that people who are depressed with suicidal tendencies feel like they are standing in a burning building with flames all around and the flames are growing bigger and bigger, closer and closer. They can’t run through the fire, the flames will engulf them. They stand on the edge, waiting for the moment the flames die down, but sometimes the flames move so close that they cannot escape them any longer and the only way out is to jump. The jump isn’t designed to hurt anyone else or even themselves. The jump is designed to escape the fire that is all consuming. People jump from burning buildings. We instinctively search for an escape from the pain that we know has the potential to destroy our lives. Sometimes the pain is physical. Sometimes it’s mental. Sometimes it’s both.

Below are lyrics to a part of a song called “Illumination Theory” by Dream Theater that have always helped me to remember what I need to do to keep moving in the right direction.

To really feel the joy in life
You must suffer through the pain
When you surrender to the light 
You can face the darkest days

If you open up your eyes
And you put your trust in love
On those cold and endless nights 
You will never be alone

Passion glows within your heart
Like a furnace burning bright 
Until you struggle through the dark
You’ll never know that you’re alive

About joatmon14

Man in recovery from everything, looking for a little help, inspiration and direction.... Have spent the last 25 years working in big business, getting lost in all the chaos, not feeling like what I did mattered. By no means am I a professional writer nor do I even think I am that good, but it is something I love to do. Getting lost in a world of words, even for just a little while is why I started my blogs. In reality, at the age of 49 I am trying to find my voice. To find my passion. Maybe starting a little late, but better late than never. I write for me, I enjoy reading other's thoughts very much as well and look forward to the day that I can hold an extended, intelligent, meaningful conversation with YOU View all posts by joatmon14

7 responses to “My Thoughts

  • mle471earthlinknet

    I like those lyrics. I have felt that darkness. I almost let it destroy me. I did not want to feel the intense pain I was feeling and thought I would feel for a very long time. Thank God I thought of the kids just a few minutes later. It would have been so easy. I am so very thankful that I didnt do it. Life gets better once you redirect your focus and pray. But those flames were right there and all i had to do was jump, but instead i was able to walk thru the fire to the other side. A lot of people just cannot do that, and i do understand that. They cannot see the other side of those flames and just want to escape the intense heat and pain.

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  • The Laughable Cheese

    The thing about the harassment to their family is, she had said it was a few people compared to a lot of people being respectful. And there are always some people who don’t know boundaries, who can’t find it in them to be respectful and they push their own too far.
    It is the people in his family that are in serious mourning right now. People who are fans are going to be fine, they didn’t just lose their dad or their husband or their close friend.
    Those who were demanding they give up personal pictures to the public were way out of line. It is a hardship alone, having a family member who is famous. You have to share someone close to you with so many other people, and time together may become rare. When they are off doing a movie or a tv show, they may be gone for a year at a time. Just living that life and loving someone is hard enough right there. You add losing them, and having to mourn when people are in your face being disrespectful as can be.

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  • Just Plain Ol' Vic

    I think too many people are quick to judge and quicker to make assumptions. Most that do are usually the most uninformed. Too bad it is that way but sometimes that is the reality.

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  • BrettsFuture

    Great words Mark and thanks for the intro to Lauren’s blog, I’m now a follower. My only other comment about ‘drugs’ is that many suicides or attempted suicides are directly attributable to ‘prescription medication’ eagerly supplied by big pharma and handed out almost in a rush by their marketing arms (ie mainstream GP’s). The world is being force fed psychotropic drugs at a rate never ever seen before, but as always, the investigation into what may have been the trigger for the person to ‘jump’ away from the flames never seems to stretch as far as big pharma and the poorly tested drugs that they make. (sorry this is a bit heavy, Robin’s death and the medication he was on at the time affected me very personally as I almost suffered the same thing with the same medication).

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    • joatmon14

      It affected a lot of people. Understand how it can weigh very heavy on someone that is prescribed (or formerly prescribed). I agree with your comments about Big Pharma and their drugs being used as a cure all, instead of trying to deal with the real problems. It seems to be the norm that people are taking “meds” for one reason or another, sometimes so many that they have got to be contradicting each other’s effects…..just my opinion

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