Alone in the room

One of the worst feelings I know is to be in a room full of people, and feel completely alone

However, one of the best feelings I know is to be in a room with no other people, and NOT to feel alone at all!

When I am writing or even thinking about writing, I do not feel alone. Even though I just started actually writing a couple weeks ago, it is something that I feel that I need to do. I am sure I am not the only one to feel this way either. I am not good with spoken word, I get flustered, tongue tied, or am afraid that what I say will either turn someone away or bore them to death, or just make them not like me for some reason.

I am terrible at maintaining a conversation, but I so want to have them. It is that awkward pause that gets me every time, you know that time when you just look at each other and then lose eye contact, knowing that it is not going to come back so you just stop talking. I know that it is me and that it is something that I need to work at and I will….in time.

As I have said before, I am not good at talking, but I have a lot to say. This world has so much to give and I plan on getting what is mine, and hopefully leaving something of myself for someone else. I can’t really get it, unless I give it away. I have grown up being selfish, self-centered and egotistical and still am, but am working on that too.

I haven’t written in a few days as I spent the weekend at a very spiritual convention listening to some awesome speakers share  with a lot of people that share a common bond. I missed it, guess I felt the need to try to get back in the swing of things. Even if no one ever reads what I am writing, it feels so good to get it out, to let the feelings out of the steel trap that I call my head and be able to move on to other thoughts. Like many of the people behind the blogs that I read regularly, my head can be a very scary place at times and I really think that it is OK, as long as I am channeling my thoughts out and trying to do something constructive with them.

Just needed to get this out….

See Ya!

 

About joatmon14

Man in recovery from everything, looking for a little help, inspiration and direction.... Have spent the last 25 years working in big business, getting lost in all the chaos, not feeling like what I did mattered. By no means am I a professional writer nor do I even think I am that good, but it is something I love to do. Getting lost in a world of words, even for just a little while is why I started my blogs. In reality, at the age of 49 I am trying to find my voice. To find my passion. Maybe starting a little late, but better late than never. I write for me, I enjoy reading other's thoughts very much as well and look forward to the day that I can hold an extended, intelligent, meaningful conversation with YOU View all posts by joatmon14

3 responses to “Alone in the room

  • jensiper

    I am glad that you are enjoying writing. I feel the same way about it. i am thinking having conversations just takes practice. i shouldn’t be giving advice but people love to talk about themselves. so I just ask lots of questions.

    Like

  • Michelle E

    I wish I could write and let my feelings out. Writing to me is harder than talking, although it feels like I am not as intelligent when I speak than a lot of other people. I’m glad you found an outlet.

    Like

  • LHall

    Well said. Remember, what we see ourselves as is not always what others see. We all have weaknesses & make bad choices but it doesn’t define who we are if we don’t let it. You are a good person! Hang in there! You can do anything you set your mind too. I have faith in you 🙂

    Like

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