Just Don’t Understand, Part III

Part I https://wordpress.com/read/post/id/67155781/177/

Part II http://wordpress.com/read/post/id/67155781/196/

There comes a time in every persons life that something comes along that will change their lives for ever, for the better. Most of us do not accept this opportunity. Most either wait for something even better to come along, which it might or might not, or just refuse to grab on to something new, something different. Fear is holding me back, fear of change, fear of failure, fear of success…

I should just say good bye and move on, right? That is what “normal” people would do. So why is it so hard to let go of something that has controlled my entire life. A life of lies, of cheating, of stealing, of hurting those that, for some reason, love me. Am I crazy? Am I the only one that thinks like this?

Can’t put it off any longer, need to let go, need to move on, but maybe I can just keep part of it, hold on to certain ideals or thoughts. Who would know, right? Not like I haven’t lied before about how I feel, I can get away with it again, at least for a while, but then I can just deal with the consequences then….right? HELP ME!

Life comes at us like a bullet, on a daily basis. It is learning how to deal with issues that separates “the men from the boys”. I can’t hide anymore, can’t pretend like everything is OK because it just isn’t. OK, here goes.

Good Bye ME, good bye to my ways, my self-centered, self-serving thoughts, good bye to insanity!.

Hello God……ready to get started!

About joatmon14

Man in recovery from everything, looking for a little help, inspiration and direction.... Have spent the last 25 years working in big business, getting lost in all the chaos, not feeling like what I did mattered. By no means am I a professional writer nor do I even think I am that good, but it is something I love to do. Getting lost in a world of words, even for just a little while is why I started my blogs. In reality, at the age of 49 I am trying to find my voice. To find my passion. Maybe starting a little late, but better late than never. I write for me, I enjoy reading other's thoughts very much as well and look forward to the day that I can hold an extended, intelligent, meaningful conversation with YOU View all posts by joatmon14

2 responses to “Just Don’t Understand, Part III

  • wendykarasin

    Are you okay? You sound like you’re in a lot of pain. I understand loss and death (literally and metaphorically). If you need help (as you mentioned) please reach out. Maybe this is just my psychology background or maternal instincts, but I’d rather ask than not.


    • joatmon14

      I’m fine, and I appreciate the concern more than you know. I am recovering from addiction and was recalling the feelings of letting go, that’s all. Writing about loss, loss of my former self and his ego. Guess I was convincing, huh? đŸ™‚

      But seriously, I truly appreciate your concern.


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