What choice do we have. So many people have so much advice on how everyone should live their life, what about those of us that haven’t really mastered anything, or maybe don’t believe in ourselves enough to showcase it?
Life comes at us 100 mph whether or not we are doing the right thing or we are doing the wrong thing, might as well try to do the right thing…..I used to believe that everyone was laughing at me or making fun of me just because of the way I looked, or the way I acted, so I hid in the corners, in the shadows, never wanting to be the center of attention. So I turned to drugs and alcohol to fit in (no, this is not going to be a blog about recovery, but there will be recovery in it, at least I hope so), and it worked…for a while. Then it stopped working because I got addicted to it. So I got addicted to recovery….and food….and women….and work….and so on and so on.
Seems to me that 30 years have passed and not much has changed in me. Still getting addicted or obsessed with one thing or another and then not know how to move on from that “stinkin’ thinkin'”. I am still searching for that inner peace, for something that is going to make me know that it is all going to be alright. Like I said, getting a lot of advice and praying for some guidance. Maybe I have too much time on my hands right now, or maybe that is what I needed at this point in my life. I dunno!
I have admitted that I am powerless over alcohol, food, work, sex, etc…. and that my life has become unmanageable and am currently working a 12 step program, (which is where I hear that it is GOING TO GET BETTER) but I feel empty inside.
Anyway, that is where my head is right now, I am hoping to find something by doing this, who knows, maybe someone will read it and have the answer I am looking for 🙂